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An amusing read

Fanta

By Fanta,
in Just plain ol' B.S.

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Fanta Newbie

Fanta

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Stole this off of ubersite

 

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Jason drove fastly around the bends. The sportscar he was driving revved highly and he smiled as he changed gears.

"wow" Said Jason to himself "I am going so fast and revving so high I am having fun, and my fiancee is really hot"

Next to Jason sat Susan who was really hot. She was Jasons fiancee.

 

CUT TO THREE YEARS EALRIER

 

Jason is speeding down the Old Mountain road in a fast and furious turbo Supra. He has sunglasses on even though its night time. A sign reads up ahead 'No smoking drugs whilst driving' Jason laughs as he tokes on a joint and blows the smoke out "LOLZ I am crazy" Laughed Jason "I don't care about nothing and no one I am carzy"

 

Driving near the cross-roads near the Old Mountain road was surgeon Max Smith. He was taking his soon to be wife on a short vacation. The convertible he was in wizzed around the turns. He glanced at his woman and thought he was the luckiest man in the world. He was rich and well respected in the surgery field. He had a woman caled Rebecca that he would spend the rest of his life with and he had the new sportscar he was in that he bought as a gift to himself for being so good at everything.

 

Suddenly Jason used the NOS button in his Supra "Wow I'm going really fast now!" Jason yelled to the world.

 

But just around the bend near a stop sign was Max Smith smiling at his soon to be bride. "Max, you are so great and you have the best hands in the world for surgery" She said "We have our whole future ahead everything is perfect".

 

Jason glanced ahead at the stop sign, "Bzzt" said Jason "I will disregard that stupid Stop sign, I rebel against the rules" Besides, thought Jason, no one else would be out here on Old Mountain road in the dead of night in the Winter.

 

But Max was just there! on the Crossroads. In the corner of his eye Max spotted the Turbo Supras headlights. He turned and realised he would be T-bagged by the car. His whole life flashed before his eyes; graduating top of Harvard and turning down his football scholarship to work for free as a respected surgeon in a inner city clinic. Winning the nobel peace prize for surgery, and last week getting insurance for 10Million dollars for his hands, known as the best hands in surgery.

 

Jason saw the convertible just metres from his car "WWWOOOOWWWWWW" Though Jason, he went for the brakes but his reaction was slow because he was a stoner "DRUGS HAVE RUINED ME" Yelled Jason "WHY???? WHY LORD WHY AAHHH".

 

BANG!

 

The two cars crashed with Jason ramming straight into the passenger side of Max Smiths sports car, The Impact could be heard all throught the Old Mountain rd and it echoed into the dark forest and nearby ice skating rink and adjacent hotdog stand.

 

There was only silence as the sound stopped and the only thing that could be heard was the dripping of petrol. The two cars lay wrecked in a tangled heap. His woman Rebecca made gurgling sounds , Max was semi awake and realised it was a classic case of punctured lung filling with blood, if he could just poke a hole in Rebeccas throat he could let air in - just like he had seen countless times in ER and House but rarely in real life. He reached for his medical kit but something was wrong! His hands had been torn off.

 

"OH NO Please anything but this I AM A MONSTER" Screamed Max, "I cannot save my wife without my hands!"

 

"AVENGE ME AVENGE ME" wailed Rebecca as she gurgled her last gurgle and just died right in front him "bluur" she made a final funny sound and died.

 

Max passed out with one though in his mind..... REVENGANCE IS MINE.

 

 

 

 

BANG. The judge banged his hammer. "You are to be let off on a good behaviour bond Jason, but let this be a lesson to you."

 

Phew, Jason wiped his brow. It had been 3 months since the accident and he was trying to be good, He had not smoked or drank since and was now clean cut and polite. He owed all of his new direction in life to a nurse he had met on the night of the crash, she had been at his side when he got to hospital and they had spent a lot of time together. She didn't make him feel bad about killing an innocent woman and injuring some random man like his friends did. When he got beaten at Halo 3 they would say "oh no you're not going to hit NOS and run me over now are you?" Jason hated that.

 

CUT TO MAX SMITH IN REHAB

 

"I hate that Jason look at him" He said as he read the daily paper "I am stuck in here trying to learn to use these hook hands and he gets off scot-free?" Well my plan is in action he'll be revenged hard"

 

Max's life was going bad, he lost his endoresement and sponsorship deals with hand gloves and surgery equipment companies. He got laid off from work and kicked out of his multi million dollar apartment. His 10 Million dollar life insurance policy cheque was used towards a fortress in a remote area where Max now moved and turned into a Hermit Crab. Spending his days on a plan.

 

BACK TO THE PRESENT

 

As Jason drove along in the sun he looked back on his life, it had been three years since the accident but it seemd a lifetime away. HE was in love with Susan. Ah Susan he thought "Great a** and her family loves me" Her mother was kind and elderley, the father staunch and stern, she had a weird brother that didn't visit too often. He was a weirdo anyway, not very social and he never shook Jasons hand. He was shy and looked like he didn't go out in the sun much. But all in all everything about her was good.

 

He had trouble remembering why she liked him so much at the beginning. after all he had half of his face in a bandage and his testicles were torn open in the crash. Why would a hot nurse like him so much? and why did her brother have such an attitude. Jason shook of his suspicions as he focused on the roadsign ahead. 1 Mile to Old Mountain Rd.

 

WHAT? Old Mountain rd - I don't drive this road anymore. "Susan you know I don't like driving here why didn't you tell me" he snapped "Shut up its a shortcut keep driving" She said back.

 

hmmm thought Jason, something wasn't right.

 

Max powered up his speacial tractor , his plan was finally bearing fruit to be picked, he drove out of his mountain fortress' secret garage and looked at his calendar. "3 years to the day and it feels a lifetime ago when I had the perfect life" Today he would get his revenge...

 

Jason was nervous as he turned onto Old Mountain rd. When he bought his new car Susan had insisted he didn't have NOS or a turbo, he agreed but had secretly installed a NOS powered braking system, in case he ever had to use the brakes hard he had a special button in the steering wheel that pumped NOS into the brake lines and stopped the car on a dime. "I might need this today" Said Jason. "Need What? What are you talking of" Said Susan

 

"Nothing why are we driving here anyway?" Susan said nothing as she glanced down at her watch, "Just keep driving, go faster too that would be good" Susan fastened her seatbelt.

 

Max revved his special tractor, he had spent 3 years working on a plan to weld a spear on the front of hit at the right height to go through the window of Jasons car. His sister Susan had been a Nurse at County Hospital on that very night fatefully 3 years ago. When she saw Max's hands lying dead on the floor of the car she had swore she would help her brother on his quest of avenging Rebeccas death. "Make that fast and furious speedster fall in love with you and we will kill him in a similar car accident in the same place in 3 years" he whispered in the ambulance. "Can't I just turn of his life support or smother him?" Asked Susan. "No, thats not ironic enough, do this for me, make him love you enough to go on a drive to the Old Montain rd. in 3 years"

 

So Susan had set about doing that from that night. She had just 60 seconds left to go in the plan and she braced herself for impact, at the next bend Max would drive the tractor into the road and ram the car , the spear had been measured to go into Jasons head but not penetrate into her side of the car. She thought the impact would stop the car and she could jump out once it stopped.

 

Max drove down his driveway and was now metres from the road, his driveway had been built right up to the road and it was a blind spot. He was ready to ram the car and ruin Jasons life just like Jason had ruined his on this very day 3 years ago.

 

Jason senses twitched. Since he had sworn of drugs and alcohol he had become more alert, he noticed a puff of exhaust smoke up ahead but he could not see a car or vehicle. I am alarmed, he thought "I have a feeling somethings up ahead" he thought , and his finger brushed near the NOS button. Might need this a minute he thought, that looks like tractor smoke and its awful close to the road, plus Susan is acting weird.

 

He thought back to the last time he talked about tractors, it was with Susans weird brother, he was reading a copy of a Tractor magazine and Jason had noticed his weird hand when he flicked through the pages. In fact when Jason laughed at him for it her brother ran out of the room embarrased.

When he asked Susan about it she went funny and had said her brother had prosthetic hands because of an 'accident' 2 years ago, and that was one year ago and Jason remembered because he thought it was funny that it was the same day as his anniversary of his car crash where he killed that poor lady and injured her husband. Hhhmm what injuries did he get again? Jason rarely thought about it, all he remembered was the headline "Jason does some handy work on Old Mountain rd" Handy Work? Thought Jason as his mind quickly thought about the coincedence, Handy Work? I must have... cut off his hands, what are the chances of Susans brother losing his hands on the same night?

 

Max drove inches from the road, he was just seconds away from the plan working - the tractor made its way onto the road. 1 second to go now though MAx as he grinned from ear to ear.

 

Jason saw the tip of the spear and within half a second hit the NOS button. The car flew to a halt and the tractor drove acorss the road within 1 inch of Jasons bumper bar, he saw Max waving his wierd hands and screaming as the tractor tore past him and over the side of a cliff which the Old Moutain rd is so famous for. Jason couldn't beleive his eyes, he had been set up, the whole 3 years were a fake and he started to think maybe Susan didn't like him that much at all.

HE looked at Susan

 

"You killed my brother" "IT was meant to be you , it was meant to beYOU" she punched and kicked the air as they heard an explosion which was the tractor blowing up in the valley below.

 

"Does this mean we are over?" Jason was disappointed as Susan was way out of his league, thats why he had asked her to marry him so quickly to pin her down.

 

"I will kill you with this back up gun now" said Susan pointing the gun. Jason quickly grabbed the gun and shot Susan several times, he dumped her body over the cliff and watched it burn.

 

I guess crime doesn't pay, thought Jason as drove along Old Mountain rd. "I guess crime doesn't pay".

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Fanta Newbie

Fanta

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Am I to old to? Cuz I didn't get it ether. If your going to go though that much trouble you might as well just torture him to your liking.

 

 

NOS powered brakes? Is that the joke?

 

 

so the guy with no hands was a uber smart doctor and all he could come up with for revenge was a friggin tractor? stupid.

 

http://www.opaquelucidity.com/facepalm.jpg

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Mazarin Newbie

Mazarin

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"Does this mean we are over?" Jason was disappointed as Susan was way out of his league, thats why he had asked her to marry him so quickly to pin her down."

 

I LOL'd

 

I had to read it after the coments. Stupid story tho. Sorry.

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