How I've Been Feeling Lately (in response to Starfighterpilot's thread)

[Coke]

Since I got back from my last round trip to Tulsa, I have been Very lethargic. I have never been like this before in my life. Last week I went into the doctor's and had a full blown physical done including blood work and everything is in good shape - with the exception of my back & neck which is an on going problem resulting from the car wreck in '91.

 

I even have to force myself to go to the store to buy food/booze or go over to both of my daughters houses here in Atlanta to spend time with them. Altho when I do go out, I enjoy shopping or being around the kids.

 

I have a couple of small naggers (maybe 2 hours total of work) that I should do to the Old Broad to get her 100% ready for the Christmas Holiday round trip to Tulsa. However, I am having difficutly in forcing myself to correct them. But I am looking forward to the road trip and spending Christmas with the family.

 

I have become a hermit in my apartment.

 

The only thing that I don't have to force myself to do is go out with the girl friend or over to her house for the night.

 

I've talked about this state I'm in with my kids and they seem to feel, because of my physical exam & blood work results, that it's a symptom of my age and I'm just slowing down. But the problem, as I perceive it, is the body is willing (within reservations) but my spirit isn't anymore. It ticks me off to be this way.

 

I have to add that I'm not depressed - I truely am happier than a pig in S-- with where my life has been and where it's at - but I just cannot seem to take it further forward and start accomplishing stuff again.

 

Does anyone have any ideas on how I should motivate myself to get my butt in gear to get going and be proactive in getting things done again?

 

Thanks in Advance.

 

KEN

 

 

I'm 26 years old, and I feel the way you do, but probably for different reasons. I only get out, when I have to go to work or go to my grandma's apartment.

 

However, depression has gotten a hold of me, and I feel it pulling myself down pretty hard. I've talked about it with a few of you recently, it's nothing that I'm hiding. I just wish I could find a way to make myself feel better mentally, emotionally, and physically. My friends lately have been pretty rough on me. It seems as if they only know me or need me, if they need something from me. Otherwise...I don't ever hear from them. I'll text them or email them, and they just seem very short with me, and I just hate that. I haven't spent time with ANY of my friends in nearly 2 months now. This itself, has brought me down. I survive on my relationships with friends.

 

As far as my personal life goes, that's a whole 'nother chapter. I've been "in love" with someone for probably 3 years now, but they don't know it. I've tried to make hints to them, but they either don't see it, or they don't feel the same way and just won't come out and tell me to my face. I feel like I need to keep chasing him, because I feel that we are totally meant to be together. We are great friends. I feel he may be afraid of ruining the friendship we have. I don't get that though. Doesn't it take a great friendship to build a strong relationship? I do know he is a little gun shy from his last relationship. It didn't end so well on his end, and he's afraid of a commitment again, for fear of getting burned all over again. I just wish we could be together. The fact that we aren't brings me down. I am a very lonesome person, in that regard.

 

My financial status is far from being even average, which makes me upset when I can't pay a simple bill. The inability to sell the cars and parts I have for sale, is another downer.

 

I would like to apologize to anyone I may have gotten snippy or even pushy (in several different ways) with lately. It's just me going through the motions explained above. Please don't take it too personal, or get offended.

 

Sometimes I just want to cover up in my bed and just cry, it gets so bad. Not to worry, I'm not suicidal...yet. I'll let you know when I am, okay? LOL! Sorry to rant, but it actually feels good to talk about things and open up. Thanks for reading this, if you did. I'm open for suggestions, comments, or questions. You can PM me, if you want to keep it private. I really don't care. I appreciate the love and support you guys constantly give.

 

 

Justin

[IntercooledFlatty]

i think we all go through some form of depression at one time or another. for some it's as easy as serotonin levels getting to where they should be by either getting more sunlight or taking medication. i know i get frustrated when things don't go my way :mad: , especially with these damm quests' :lol: hang in there buddy and keep thinking about when spring gets here when the birds are chirping, and the bunnies are hopping through daisy filled fields with deer peeking out from behind trees in the warm beautiful sunlight

[FLATBROKE313]

I hear ya it seems like everything is just going wrong but you just have to take it 1 day at a time and live that day like it's the last,if you don't try/ask you will never know.If friends don't got time find new 1's,you have a bunch right here stay posative it will get better it has to.

[ColdScrip]

Hang in there Justin. If it weren't for the distance we would be able to hang out more. Things go up and down and I remember feeling that way when it comes to relationship troubles. Especially when the relationship issue seems like its a no but theres no definite answer - forces you to be depressed for awhile. Whats nice is distance and eventually that helps the situation. My advice would be a hobby.

 

I guess im weird in a way but I don't mind being alone at times or not seeing my friends for awhile.

[89PalermoSHP]

Hang in there. Edited December 18, 2011 by 89PalermoSHP

[Indiana]

You could get a room mate or a pet, one can be as messy as the other. Volunteer at a food bank or soup kitchen. You can meet new people there. A new set of friends can take six months just getting tired of their habits.

[Komeuppance]

Things could be worse, much worse. Be thankful for breathing clean enough air, having clean water, and hot food. Don't waste your limited number of days fretting about wants. If you have internet access you certainly aren't at the end of the rope. I take the time to notice a beautiful sky, sunrise/sunset, or even an awesome vista of the clouds... and it makes all my wants seem frivolous.

 

There will always be ups and downs in life. Learn to take solace in the constants of life, like the sun setting day after day, and that there is always tomorrow.

 

-Robert

[AndyW]

Exercize goes a LOOONG way on feeling energetic and enlightened. When the house/family/job/life/lawyers/bs was getting way to much I started hitting the Y, and you know me... twig and all but it dont matter one bit, I feel 110% better when I'm done. Been feeling alot better as of late.

 

Hang in there dude.

[lionbull]

Exercize goes a LOOONG way on feeling energetic and enlightened. When the house/family/job/life/lawyers/bs was getting way to much I started hitting the Y, and you know me... twig and all but it dont matter one bit, I feel 110% better when I'm done. Been feeling alot better as of late.

 

Hang in there dude.

 

 

x2

[Burton]

Keep your head up, and try to only focus on the things you can control. You only mention two aspects of life where things are bad, but what about the rest... job, friends, family, health, homelife? If those other things are good, focus on them. Your friends and family can help you feel better about things, and as long as you got good health and a roof over your head, things could be worse. Sometimes it's hard to see the good aspects of life when one or two of the aspects of your life are bad.

 

Everybody wants and needs love, but you can't force anyone to love you, and you can't expect yourself to love anyone if you can't love yourself. If you are having depression problems, then you obviously don't love yourself right now, so you really shouldn't bother with loving anyone else right now. If the love is mutual, then you will end up together. If not, then you won't, and nothing you can do will change that. If you are meant to be together, maybe it's not meant to be right now, but it will happen when all the stars align right. Either way, you won't do good in ANY relationship, if you don't have a good relationship with yourself.

 

 

Money... They say, money doesn't buy happiness, but it makes one hell of a down payment. Personally, the times I struggled most in life with negativity or depression, was when I was having money problems. 9 times out of 10, money issues can be resolved just by changing your spending habits slightly, and having a little more willpower. Not trying to call you out, but I've seen you complain in posts or chat about being tight on money, then within days you're wanting to buy another car or some kind of parts you don't really HAVE to have to keep your cars on the road. Doing that a little less would help you out with your money for sure.

 

 

When I was in my early 20's I had money and love problems, and thought things were never gonna get better. Things were so bad, I thought suicide was the only way out. Luckily, I wasn't scuessful, because it was just the coward's way out. It took time, and changing how I did things in life, but eventually everything started falling into place, and things got easier. The biggest thing for me was realizing that I had to quit wasting time worrying about things I couldn't change, and focus all my energy on the things I could change. I went to work on all the negative stuff I could control with hardcore drive until they were handled. I made the easiest changes first then concentrated on the harder stuff til they were resolved. The one thing I found is that the more positive changes I made to things I could control, the more the things I could not control fell into place.

 

 

Live by this rule... When something comes up, determine if you can control the situation... If not, say F%$* it, and move on to something you can control, and stay on it like white on rice until it's handled.

 

 

Hang in there, and best of luck. It's hard to see now, but all this stuff has a way of working out in the end.

[averse]

i know i get frustrated when things don't go my way

 

Glad you brought that part up, Harry!

 

That's a big part of depression, making an prediction about what SHOULD happen and letting it turn into something that is SUPPOSED to happen. Learn to get away from that cycle of thinking and life gets a lot easier to experience.

 

The problem is we are hard-wired to make predictions about the future as part of our drive for survival. Our survival brain (limbic system) wants to feel safe. However, feeling safe now is not enough, we want to know that we are safe and that things are stable, which means we will continue to be safe in the future. In order to determine if our environment is stable, we make predictions about what should happen in the near future. If those things happen like we predict, then we feel competent (in control) to guage if the future will remain safe. If things do not happen that we "predict", then we are no longer in control, and ergo, not safe...resulting in emotional consequences (aka, "stress"). There are ways around this existential human delimma, though each person has to find what works for him/her personally. I'll be happy to share what works for me or has worked for some of my clients if anyone wants more info, just pm me.

Edited December 10, 2011 by averse

[averse]

 

Live by this rule... When something comes up, determine if you can control the situation... If not, say F%$* it, and move on to something you can control, and stay on it like white on rice until it's handled.

 

 

Hang in there, and best of luck. It's hard to see now, but all this stuff has a way of working out in the end.

 

 

Haha, the resident ganja maestro paraphrasing the Serenity Prayer.

 

(btw, put your fog skins on, thanks Mark!)

[theRobot]

 

Glad you brought that part up, Harry!

 

That's a big part of depression, making an prediction about what SHOULD happen and letting it turn into something that is SUPPOSED to happen. Learn to get away from that cycle of thinking and life gets a lot easier to experience.

 

The problem is we are hard-wired to make predictions about the future as part of our drive for survival. Our survival brain (limbic system) wants to feel safe. However, feeling safe now is not enough, we want to know that we are safe and that things are stable, which means we will continue to be safe in the future. In order to determine if our environment is stable, we make predictions about what should happen in the near future. If those things happen like we predict, then we feel competent (in control) to guage if the future will remain safe. If things do not happen that we "predict", then we are no longer in control, and ergo, not safe...resulting in emotional consequences (aka, "stress"). There are ways around this existential human delimma, though each person has to find what works for him/her personally. I'll be happy to share what works for me or has worked for some of my clients if anyone wants more info, just pm me.

 

Yes and Doubly Yes.

 

It's the build up that does most people in. The part where one thing happens, and then later another small yet important thing happens, when it keeps stacking is what puts the weight on.

 

I've found that, just not caring works best for me. I know it's odd, and a lot of people will insist. "Well, I just can't do that, I can't not care about things that need to be taken care of." But by letting those worries go has really put the depression I used to experience on the run.

[Technology]

If you really want to get rid of stuff, take the hit on it. It's a sunk cost, most of it and no one is throwing money away anymore. You have to sell some crap at it's real value, which is WAY less than your perceived value of that item. KBB and NADA values aren't quite right anymore and mods don't count.

 

If you are so sad, why don't you make a big change? Get out of the country for a while, go to someplace far away and live for a while. Work on a farm in New Zealand or cut down trees in the Amazon for a a while. That'll rejuvenate you! I had a dead end job when I signed up for this gig, no one was hiring, etc. I'm coming back next year but to a different location and I can't wait to start doing something totally new/different. You should do that. (If you were to choose to go to China, all you need is a college degree or TESOL cert or something. They are always hiring.)

[Shelby]

Coke if you want to realy see how things are , WAKE up dead one day and you'l get the picture of whats realy important in life,,and thats YOUR LIFE ,,not your friends or people you know , now if the circle of friends or people your arround make you feel bad,,,change them ,, staying in the same group over and over and feeling bad , is like the guy trying to stop drinking but shows up at his favorite bar every nite cause thats where he thinks his friends are or so he thinks

[dmyers151]

Hit me up buddy, you've got my numbers.

 

I've gone through it all at this point, and I'm more than happy to talk with you about anything and everything.

[Burton]

 

 

Haha, the resident ganja maestro paraphrasing the Serenity Prayer.

 

 

 

LOL! I had to look that one up. I've never been into prayers of any sort much, but I did get to have a little cout mandated time in AA, so maybe I picked up on it there.

 

I just know there was a point in my life where I was worrying about so much crap, that I was losing it. For me, it was either suicide or I had to make MAJOR changes in my life. Suicide didn't work so I rethought my life and finally figured out what I needed to change. Learning to react to things I could and couldn't control was the one change I made that had the most impact in my life. I probably changed half a dozen things in my life, but that one thing probably made up 70% of the overall improvement of my life.