ad130 - If you're in distress I can probably find a solution. Used but good flywheels are available but will be around the $300+ range after shipping and especially after surfacing if it needs it. The shops you called probably won't touch lightening the flywheel for liability purposes, but if they won't resurface it or redrill it, they are flat-out incompetent and would not be worth your money anyway.
I've been around for a while. I'm not a huge name, but trusted in the community. If you're in dire need and this is a viable solution, ship me your flywheel and I will take it to my local machine shop for resurfacing, re-drilling, and possibly to lighten it as well. They typically charge me $40-60 for a resurface with a few days turn-around. Good old dudes.